I became involved with Bloss after my wife and I lost our 3rd son Hugo. Hugo passed away from a rare condition called Hypoplastic Left Heart. Hugo passed away in our arms in Westmead Children’s Hospital in August 2019. My wife and I had a lot of support from charities and support workers in Sydney and it wasn’t until we arrived back in Wagga that we soon realised that regional families get nowhere near the same levels of support that grieving families receive in the major cities.

My First Interactions with Bloss were once we returned home from Westmead Hospital. A wonderful young lady arrived on our doorstep with a gift pack and a warm hug. She came into our house, which honestly looked like a warzone, scattered with bunches of flowers and sat down with my wife and just held her hand.

She didn’t say much, she just sat there and supported my wife. She passed along a gift pack and after a couple of hours, she left and I clearly remember her saying if you need anything, just ring, I’ll be straight over. This was our first interaction with Bloss and I remember asking my wife, who is Bloss, I haven’t heard of them, she followed with “they’re a charity that support mums who have experienced what we have”. I still clearly remember seeing her sitting with my wife at the dining table and both of them having tears streaming down their faces while my wife was telling her what had happened.

Little did I know that that member of Bloss had her own story to tell and for her to sit there and listen to our story would have been bringing up horrible memories of her own… that in itself I still find remarkable that someone has the strength to do that. From that day onwards, I wanted to be a part of this wonderful organisation and hopefully instil the strength and hope for other families who have experienced baby loss in the Riverina.

In June 2015 my life was torn apart when my uterus ruptured while giving birth to my second child, a baby girl named Dakota. Dakota was put on life support immediately after being born, however, she had suffered extensive brain damage, and after discussions with the pediatrician looking after her, we made the devastating choice to turn it off and let her go. Dakota was so perfect. In the time we spent with her after her death, it was hard to believe she wouldn’t just wake up. Dakota was born in Wodonga and I was incredibly grateful to have the support of the border baby loss group, who provided me with a beautiful box of special keepsakes, which I still treasure to this day. I remember going to one of their support groups and just bursting into tears. Everyone was so kind and understood how I was feeling in a way that only those who have been through something similar can.

When I moved to Wagga, I started looking for a similar group and was surprised to find that there were very few supports available for bereaved parents in the area. I had a miscarriage in April 2017, which was another heartbreaking experience. Through my contact with a national charity, I was put in touch with Katie and Megan, and we later went on to form Bloss with Ruth. It means a lot to me that we are now able to provide memory boxes and support to other families who have lost a baby. I have two living children, Paxton and Amari, and together with our friends and family, we keep Dakota’s memory alive and celebrate her little life, which has made a big impact.

Sharon lost Joshua Caleb in May 2000. She was ten weeks pregnant. He was very much wanted and loved. Joshua’s father had broken their engagement a few weeks before. Sharon’s family and friends told her to forget about Joshua, not talk about him ever and move on. Sharon thought that there was something wrong with her because, even though her loss was early, she wanted to shout from the rooftops that Joshua existed.

Sharon struggled alone for years in her grief, not sharing her story. Sharon has only started sharing about Joshua more openly in the last few years and that is due to her involvement with BLOSS. It has opened avenues for others to share with her their pregnancy loss journey, whether it be an early pregnancy loss, a late pregnancy loss or a neonatal loss.

What does BLOSS mean to me?

Having a local support group like BLOSS is a wonderful thing for our area. The group is so welcoming to everyone regardless of the type of loss you have had. From early pregnancy loss to late pregnancy losses and everything in between, our babies, feelings and families are always valued and respected.

It is great having a place to talk about our babies and not to feel like it’s a taboo subject.

My role?

I am on the BLOSS committee and love helping out at the events we hold during the year.

We also have a group of volunteers who are called “Friends of BLOSS”. This is a group of volunteers who support Bloss and the Bloss committee, and assist with events and activities such as coffee catch ups, remembrance events, Bereaved Mother’s and Father’s Day events, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day, Say Their Name Day and care packs.

Some of the volunteer roles are selling raffle tickets at events, helping with set up/pack up/organising the event and helping with any shopping needed.